tiffany┃she/her ┃ 22

lover, be good to me

sassafrassrex:

eponymous-rose:

A really insidious little thing I’ve noticed occasionally in some of my “not quite on the same page” friendships that have dissolved over the years: 

When someone whose company I enjoy is super into something that I just don’t especially care for (not something legitimately awful or anything, just a TV show or movie or game that’s not my speed), my default reaction is “huh, okay, well… they like it, and I like them, so maybe I’ll give it another shot”. And then it’s either “okay, gave it a fair shot, still not a fan, but love that it makes them happy” or “dang, I can see why they enjoy this and now I’m a fan, too”.

But what grinds my gears is when someone consistently just… doesn’t reciprocate. I’ll mention something I like, and they just wrinkle their brow or shrug or go, “Seriously?” or “I watched an episode and it was crap” or “Aw man, that’s garbage, though” and I’m sitting here like, motherfucker, I watched two episodes of that TV show you love just so we’d have something to talk about, and you’re not even going to pretend? And yeah, it’s unfair to expect someone to enjoy everything you’re into, but it’s frustrating when there’s zero reciprocity… or even acknowledgement that these are subjective opinions we’re talking about here.

(see also: listening to a friend talking about how her boyfriend loves that she’s getting into all his favorite shows and games that she never really enjoyed before… and then laughing at the mere thought of bringing him shopping with her or having him read her favorite series of books “because he’d hate it”; there’s a whole other rant about how a lot of men’s interests and passions are considered to be immutable parts of their personalities whereas women are expected to act as absurdly agreeable chameleons)

I love cheerleading for friends’ interests. It’s one of my all-time favorite things. But it hurts to have them treat it as a “well, of course you like the stuff I like! I have great taste and you don’t!” thing. Come on, dude. It’s not hard to get excited about the stuff someone likes just because you like that it makes them happy.

Don’t ever give anything you’ll resent not being given back.